Just Livin the Dream

It is crazy to think that in 154 hours I will be a married man. It is going to be one of those life changing moments that I will never forget. Over the last year of engagement I’ve realized that I could not be luckier of a man to have such a wonderful woman in my life. I’ve watched her go through the up’s and downs of wedding planning while enduring her first year of orientation at work. She is finally settled in the NICU unit at Cook Children’s and seems that she could not be any happier in what she is doing.

I absolutely cannot wait for these next 154 hours to pass. There is going to be a great gathering of family and friends; something that I could have never envisioned as a child. Everyone there will be there because they believe in our future together. I feel so fortunate to become a part of Allison’s family. I’ve learned so much from them in the last five years and cannot wait to continue to learn as my life goes on. One of my favorite hats to wear is my khaki, “Life is Good,” hat. That is exactly how I feel to the tenth degree. Thank you to everyone that has supported us and I look forward to connecting with everyone soon!!!

April 25^th was the last time I sat and thought about writing a post. Wow. First thing that comes to mind is pathetic. The second thing I think about is what a waste. The third thing I think about is what has happened between then and now…..

Shortly after the 25^th I was asked to expand Beta to a new campus, TCU. I remember the feeling of butterflies mixed with anxiety thinking about what I just agreed to do. Beta will be the first group to expand on campus in over 10 years, so it is definitely ready, but will I be.

Moving to Fort Worth, getting to know the campus, adjusting to my new/beautiful roommate (Allison, unexpected and definitely not planned, but it’s been great,) meeting and greeting anyone that will hear the message of Beta Theta Pi. I grow fond of my excel sheet “Master Tracker” that I frequent at least 10 times a day through the night. The campus affords a lot of talented students and faculty which makes my job incredibly amazing.

My team joins me in September to hit the ground running. Already having 17 new members, we blow the campus up with all things Beta. Three weeks later we produce a Founding Father class of 79 men boasting a 3.65 overall grade point average. I would have definitely brought the average down if I were one of them…I was super proud of my team and how we were efficient in making this happen. To think four men would start the legacy of a great organization on a great campus is pretty profound.

Eight weeks of education seem to fly by only losing six new members. It was a shame to lose those six because each student was selected for a reason and brought something unique to the experience. My guys ended the semester first in grades and winning intermural events. They are making a positive name for themselves as “The Nice Guys that can really sing.” To see them recruit their first pledge class of 22 new members all on their own makes me feel like a proud dad of sorts. They are driven to fulfill the mission of making a positive impact in Greek Life at TCU, and I can guarantee that they will not be denied of achieving this.

Now I am down to 52 days before the BIG DAY! I’m so excited/anxious and yet very relieved that I have found the most wonderful woman in the world to agree to put up with my shenanigans FOREVER! April 14^th is going to be a wonderful day of good food, good drink and good people. I cannot wait to share the most important day of my life with so many family and friends. Growing up, I never would have imagined having a wedding more than eight people to witness, but feel so blessed about what is to come. Once I land a job, I will feel a lot more stress free. It is definitely in the works, but I really want to find the right opportunity to match my skill set and interests. I remind myself to remain persistent, determined and positive in this process. Wish me luck!

This felt good to write a bit, hell I should make a habit of it right?

I have the opportunity to work with some pretty amazing people. They challenge me both personally and professionally on a daily basis. I can’t imagine myself in another job where there is the opportunity for this much growth in such a short time frame.

Here is one of many learning moments that recently took place because of this job.  I went to pick up a coworker and friend from the airport yesterday. Oxford is conveniently placed between Cincinnati and Dayton, which are both about an hour drive each way. So on the way home from Cincinnati, we had ample amount of time to catch up.

We began talking about people and how their environment shapes their view on life and the way they interact with others. Some people choose to let this influence their interactions more than others. My friend said that there is great opportunity for growth in every situation, but some choose not to be open to or embrace that opportunity. I ask “why though?” Were they raised to not be open for suggestions or different views? Are they programmed to not see this opportunity for growth?

We continued with the conversation on how some people care a whole hell of a lot about societal hierarchy and how this affects their interactions/motivations. It was very interesting for him to say that this was extremely tricky because he has noticed over time that this affects people in such a negative way. People are motivated for success without caring about those around them. If you have to hurt so many people to get where you want in this hierarchy, is it worth it? Does it make you a better person at the end of the day? Would you feel complete?

As the time, passes on and I begin to think about life with my fiancée, Allison; I wonder about my motivations for my life. I have set specific goals for things I want to accomplish with my career and personal life. I think the number one thing that stands out to me in accomplishing these goals though is how I treat those around me when achieving these goals. I always want to be genuine in my motives and support those around me. I feel that if you can base your decisions on the betterment of the people around you, while still progressing the organization or whatever you’re trying to do, you will succeed.  This genuine thought of others will lead to success because people will come to trust that you have their best interest in mind.

Thanks Kye Hittle for the great convo my man. I will always, gladly pick you up or take you to the airport.

I went hiking two days ago in the Smokey Mountain National Forrest. It was truly incredible to say the least. The scenery and trails were absolutely phenomenal. I didn’t feel too comfortable going alone, but I met an older couple about half-way up the mountain and they joined me for the rest of the day. Cathy and Dave from Findley, Ohio told me that they have been coming to the Smokey Mountains every year since they have been married. It was where they spent their honeymoon and liked it enough to make it an annual tradition. It was awesome to see the love they shared for each other and for the outdoors.

It got me thinking about my upcoming marriage and the things Allison and I really enjoy doing together. I know that she has a love for animals that is second to none, so I really want us to be involved in an animal shelter in Ft.Worth volunteering in our spare time. I think that this would be a great way for us to give back. I know that I will just need to hold her back from wanting to adopt every little cat or dog that comes through there…haha Another idea I had was that we took an annual trip to Dallas for Ranger games and now that will be in our back yard, I would like to continue this by possibly buying season ticket packages, maybe not an entire season’s worth, but a group of 20 or so games. She knows my love for baseball and I think she also kinda enjoys it as well.

Anyhow, I am excited to begin a life in Ft. Worth around this time next year. In case you did not hear, Allison accepted her job offer to Cook’s Children’s Hospital in Ft. Worth and will be starting work June 6th! I am so proud of her. She is incredibly hard-working and definitely deserves all of the praise that comes her way. When I am back in May, we will be taking engagement pictures along with various other wedding planning things. I am not the most versed person when it comes to weddings, so I am glad that I have her to keep me in the know about everything we need to do. I look forward to moving her down to Ft. Worth and seeing where she is going to be living for the next year!

I’m glad it is finally getting warm outside. I ran my first 5k with my roommate and co-worker Brian Webber this last weekend in Lexington, KY. I’ve been working through this app on my phone called couch to 10k and it’s been nice getting out running a few times a week. This is something I am going to continue throughout the summer. I don’t want Allison to have to marry some guy that is out of shape!

I hope all is well in your world and I hope you’re enjoying the spring weather as much as I am!

So I started to reread one of my favorite books of all time, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie a short time ago because we are having all of our new consultants read it before they come onto staff in June. I decided to take notes throughout the book and within the book. I stumbled upon a short story that I would like to share.

“Many years ago I called on customers for Johnson and Johnson in the Massachusetts area. One account was a drugstore in Hingham. Whenever I went into this store I would always talk to the soda clerk and sales clerk for a few minutes before talking to the owner to obtain his order. One day I went up to the owner of the store, and he told me to, leave as he was not interested in buying J&J products anymore because he felt they were concentrating their activities on food and discount stores to the detriment of the small drugstore. I left with my tail between my legs and drove around the town for several hours. Finally, I decided to go back and try at least to explain our position to the owner of the store.

When I returned I walked in and as usual said hello to the soda clerk and sales clerk. When I walked up to the owner, he smiled at me and welcomed me back. He then gave me double the usual order. I looked at him with surprise and asked him what had happened since my visit only a few hours earlier. He pointed to the young man at the soda fountain and said that after I had left, the boy had come over and said that I was one of the few salespeople that called on the store that even bothered to say hello to him and to the others in the store. He told the owner that if any salesperson deserved his business, it was I. The owner agreed and remained a loyal customer. I never forgot that to be genuinely interested in other people is a most important quality for a salesperson to possess—-for any person for that matter.”

This story hit to the core of my being on so many levels. I have always noticed that my mother was the nicest person to people she had never met before. Be it the clerk at the grocery store or the nursing assistant that helped cleaned my hospital bed. Giving people a sense of appreciation by just showing that you care for them and their livelihood is something that I will continue to try to do everyday of my life. 

Wow, goodness me. So much has happened since the last time that I wrote. I guess I should first begin with the most important thing that has ever happened in my life……I ask the most beautiful, smart, funny, sarcastic, loving and hard-working girl to marry me!?!?! The craziest part of the whole thing is that she said yes!!! I keep telling her that she can back out and doesn’t have to put herself through such hell for the rest of her life, but I guess she see’s something in me that I may not see in myself. We have set a date for 4/14/2012. I think it is great that we are keeping the 14th special to us. Allison and I met on January 14th, I proposed on February 14th and we will be married on April 14th. Plus, her parents were married on my birthday, October 14th.

So you may be wondering how I asked…well I flew home in between conferences for just a “visit.” We had planned on going to dinner and then getting drinks at one of our favorite bars in Norman, Blu. So we went to dinner at Charleston’s, it was the first place that we had our first date on, and then after I told her I needed to run a few errands. I had printed off pictures of us from the last four years. I then drove her to different locations that were meaningful for the two of us; where we first met, places of residence, ect… it really played into what I was doing because she thought I was just being sweet for Valentine’s Day. Well at each place I stopped, I gave her a photo, but wrote what was going on in our lives at that time. We both laughed and cried throughout the stops. The last stop happen to be on campus where my good friend, Matthew Athey, had set up candles and roses at a really nice gazebo. We walked up on it and I proceeded to try to hold it together enough to propose. It went amazing. Afterward, she was freaking out about who to call first, so I said we just need to wait to we get to Blu and I will order a bottle of wine and we could both call everyone. So we got to Blu and the manager proceeded to seat us in a back room. When he opened the door, we were greeted by a crowd of family and friends! I pulled it off! I surprised her with an engagement and a reception! She was stunned and we both shed a few tears after seeing everyone that was there. It was a wonderful night that I will never forget.

It is crazy to me, but ever since February 14th when I dropped down on one knee, I have felt this sense of fulfillment in my heart. I have never felt more complete in my life. It is wonderful. I used to be worried about the future with career paths and what I would be doing, but I do not have those concerns because I know that I will be making those decisions with my best friend. I think we make one hell of a team that can and will get through anything that is thrown our way.

In other news…I am still enjoying my work so much. This semester I have challenged more of my students, but have felt that they respect me more for doing so. I hope I can continue to make a difference in those around me and that some of these guys will see the bigger picture of fraternity.

Until next time, Live it, Love it and enjoy all moments with those you love and care about.

Wow! Where have the last six months gone?  I have driven to 18 different universities and worked hundreds of hours on this great thing we call fraternity.  Connecting with men and women on the motivations of why they do what they do and why they give so much of themselves for an organization has been such a humbling experience.  When fraternity is done the right way, it can and does have a profound effect on one’s life.  Being a part of a fraternity is not just to make lifelong friendships or to be able to market/network for future successes, but it can help one establish the building blocks of their life.  It can give men a medium for establishing their core values and practicing those values on a consistent basis.  The question I ask is how can we consistently think/enable these practices with college men without it falling on deaf ears?  Is it a maturity issue that we need to address early in the process?  Are there often too many environmental factors that hinder this growth too much or can we achieve an organic growth of values with persistence?  I don’t know the answers to these questions, but it is exciting to be working toward them on a daily basis.

I am excited to facilitate our Chapter President’s Leadership Academy.  This will be the first time I get to set specific expectations with my new guys.  I am excited to be a coach for these guys’ development.  My goal is that my 18 President’s will have the best possible fraternity experience and feel supported throughout their term.  I am going to challenge them to have integrity throughout their term and to not be afraid of making those hard decisions. 

To get away from work, I’m personally doing really well.  Allison and I have been communicating really well.  She is so special to me and knows how to challenge me to be the best version of myself.  She was able to come up to Oxford for a week.  It is great for her to be around all of the guys.  To watch her in a setting interacting with people she is not so familiar with is amazing.  She has this ability to make everyone around her to feel comfortable while being very authentic and true to herself.  I am one lucky man to have her in my life.  I miss her and Berkley constantly, but know that the work I am doing is worth the time away from them.  I have learned so much in the last six months.

I am preparing for my next semester and have made it my mission to update my blog at least once a month.  I am setting my calendar up to remind me to update it every other week even if it is just a quick update of where I am and what is going on. 

I hope your holidays went well and you are excited to what 2011 will afford to you.  Make the most of it and enjoy those times around the people you love.  I think most importantly, be vulnerable to those around you and open yourself up to personal, challenging conversation.

Take care

It has been quite a while since I’ve posted, and Mr. Hittle, Beta’s IT extraordinaire, has been hounding me about not posting, so here we go…

Over the last two months a lot has happened.  I spent a full week in Atlanta, spent four weeks in Lexington, KY recruiting men for the Founding Father class at UK and now I am back on the road sitting in a cafe in Miami, Florida. 

To start with Atlanta, I loved the city and tried to take advantage of a lot things it had to offer, but I was very limited to my knowledge of the city.  I got to see the World’s Largest Aquarium, CNN Newsroom/Production area and the World of Coke.  It was quite a great day of museums.  I really think the skyline of Atlanta was amazing.  I was staying at an older hotel right in the middle of downtown which was surrounded by huge buildings.  Talk about feeling like a small-town Oklahoma kid lost in a big city.

I throughly enjoyed my time in Lexington.  I worked on recruitment with Allen Hardin, John Reineke and Brian Webber the entire time I was there.  One thing that really stood out to me was how much I really valued the idea of a consistent schedule.  I knew when I would be going to getting up for work, working out or even simply have dinner.  I know that I have always valued being punctual and following a schedule, but it did not hit me until I did not have it for three weeks prior to Kentucky.  I really enjoyed Lexington.  We had the opportunity to see the World Equestrian Games, Keeneland (Horse-racing) and two Kentucky football games verses Auburn and South Carolina.  All of these things are right up my alley as far as entertainment is concerned.  One thing that stood out was the Maker’s Mark Distillery tour.  It was out in the middle of no-where Kentucky, but set on a beautiful piece of property.  I will post pictures of the tour and property as soon as I can. 

To touch on the expansion a bit; I loved it.  You can see the direct result of your work and effort there whereas on the road it is not as obvious.  We signed and gave 47 men the opportunity to be something special at the University of Kentucky.  They have the opportunity to change the scope of what a fraternity is at Kentucky.  It is awesome to know that these 47 lives will be forever changed due to four men’s work.  I will always be somewhat attached to Kentucky due to my experience there, and I think it is cool to know that 10 or 20 years from now, I will be able to go back there to see a Beta chapter that I started. 

The next three weeks will be full of travel.  I started this stint in Atlanta then down to Gainesville, then to Orlando finishing up the week in Miami to fly home for a much needed vacation.  I am currently in Miami for the week working with UM, FIU and Nova SE, but Saturday I am driving to Tuscaloosa to visit Alabama then I’ll be off to Auburn.  I will go to Oxford, MS from there and then to Nashville to visit Vanderbilt.  I hopefully will finish out having a day in Knoxville with my Tennessee chapter, and the Saturday before I get back home Corey Smith is playing in Lexington, so I am going to stop in for that.  It will be my sixth concert and it will be the icing of the cake of my travels.

I am going to be driving miles upon miles.  I am looking forward to all of the things that I will be encountering.  I am really excited to eat a lot of different foods along the way.  It will also be a great time to make plenty of phone calls.

Until next time, hopefully sooner than two months…

I have been extremely busy the past week.  Three chapter visits, meeting over twenty people at each visit, engaging in powerful conversation.  This is something that I have completely enjoyed.  It is a major adjustment though, every day of my life. I have been making a first impression multiple times a day.  Through the Phired-Up Recruitment/Expansion training, I learned about the theory of social excellence and presenting the best version of yourself.  I agree with this principle, especially in my role as a Leadership Consultant.  I am the extension of the General Fraternity and in some cases, I am the only interaction that a student or volunteer may have from the General Fraternity during their entire fraternity experience; so, one can see the pressure of giving the same “experience” or impression of the General Fraternity throughout every conversation.  This is only one aspect of the job that I think about.  I think about the personal relationships that I need to build to make a sustainable change within each person and chapter I visit.  I believe this is the key to my role as an LC: personal, meaningful relationships.  To be able to look a man in the eye and challenge the process or actions of the decisions that his chapter makes day in and day out, is something that I can honestly say has already given me the confidence to approach any situation within my professional and personal life. 

I guess one might be able to tell that I am really enjoying my experience as an LC.  It has been great sitting and talking about life and Beta with men and women, young and old.  To see the passion that these people have for our organization is something that keeps me motivated to not think about the hours I put into my job.  When I hear that this organization and brotherhood has shaped them as a man and individual, it sends chills down the back of my neck. 

So tomorrow I am heading to University of Georgia.  I have spent the last week at Furman University and Clemson University.  These are two very different chapters but two chapters that have the potential to be award winning chapters both nationally, as well as locally.  I really appreciate the men that let me into their chapters with open arms and allowed me to challenge them on the operations of the chapter.  I look forward to continued work and progression within both chapters.  We have outstanding men at both chapters, and they should to be proud of their accomplishments!

I am looking forward to Athens and Atlanta.  These are two places I have yet to travel, much like a lot of places in my region.  I get my first taste of SEC football this weekend when University of Georgia plays Louisiana-Lafayette.  I am staying with an awesome Friend of Beta, Darren Pierre, and look forward to the fun we will have in Athens!

Until the next update, take care and enjoy the life you are living.  Make that difference in the people around you, and be that change agent for them.  Personal investments travel a very long way, so take advantage of those opportunities!

My experience in SC has been great!  Staying with our Financial Advisor, Bryant Blakeslee, I had the best tour guide a Consultant could have.  He and his little dog Otis really made me feel like I was a part of the Columbia community within a matter of only six days.  I have thoroughly enjoyed everything about Columbia, well except for the parking.  The food, people, sweet tea — everything reminds me of back at home, but in a different way. 

            Thursday night, I experienced my first pimento cheese burger at a local restaurant called Pawley’s.  It was fantastic to say the least.  Saturday, Bryant drove me around the different parts of the city and showed me all of the local hot spots.  Columbia has been moving through a revitalization effort with their downtown to increase the traffic for the local restaurants and shops.  From the progress that I noticed, it seems like this effort is definitely working.  Columbia is the capitol city of South Carolina, but it has a very small town feel about it, something that I value very much.  I understand what they mean by Southern hospitality, now. 

            To talk a bit about work here in Columbia: we have an amazing group of men and volunteers.  The advisory board is very diverse and they all bring in their own specialties.  This is great because each can work off of each other and bring a unique perspective to the colony.  The colony itself is made up of student leaders across campus, including the student body president.  They are all motivated to live out the values of Beta.  This is an exceptional task because the culture of SC is much like that of most southern state schools.  The colony wants to be a catalyst of change for the university and bring more relevance to the Greek system as a whole.  What a task, huh?  They have worked very hard and continue to do so every day.  They have a scholarship banquet planned to award their Men of Principle Scholarship, as well as the scholastic achievements of their bothers on September 8^th.  At this banquet, they will have the University President, Dr. Harris Pastides, present their keynote address.  We are hoping that this can become an annual event that Dr. Pastides will participate in.  This is huge for Beta and huge for the Greek community!  I am hoping that this is the start of academic relevance for the SC Greek system.

            I have posted several pictures of the SC campus and several of the Columbia area.  Check them out when you get a chance.  I have also posted a video of sorority recruitment.  This is just fascinating to me.  It was a “running of the bulls” type of event.  Pure pandemonium!  I have never seen anything like this before and it is really different from the way things are done at Oklahoma.

            I wanted to give a shout out to my advisory team at South Carolina!  We have one of the best groups of advisors in the SE at the Upsilon chapter.  Chapter Counselor is headed up by Rachel Westra-Marsh, who lives in Charleston, and she has done a phenomenal job of really bringing the group together and centered to serve the students in their specific roles.   They also have fantastic faculty advisors in Dr. Hickey, Katie Coley, and graduate students, Erin Sylvester, Erin Ramaker, and Anna Todora.  They have community leaders on the team such as Joel Helm, Ben Herritage, Bryant Blakeslee, and Derrick Nattier.   They are in the process of leading a great change and influence on the SC campus.  I have been very blessed to have worked with such a wonderful group over the past four days.

            I will be off to Greenville, SC to visit the Furman colony starting Wednesday, September 25.  I am looking forward to helping the chapter with different recruitment techniques as well as showing them different ways they can live the ritual in their everyday life.  Until then, I hope everyone takes care and enjoys what’s in front of them! 

So this Friday I head out for my first road trip as a Leadership Consultant.  I have been working my tail off getting familiar with my 15 chapters and two colonies.  I never knew that my summer would fly by with me gaining so much growth.  I have never a summer where I have had more meaningful conversations, both testing my beliefs and testing those of others.  I feel like I am living and breathing meaningful work.  I sincerely believe that my job and mission matter to not only my organization, but those that I serve.

I feel so blessed and fortunate for this experience.  There are not many men my age that say they can have a profound effect within their organization, especially being in their first 10 weeks.  I understand the parameters of this effect and know that it is very individual based, but it is that story of the starfish that was read at our first All-Staff meeting, “I am making a difference to that one starfish/student,” and that to me makes the hard work worth it. 

So here is the rundown for the next three weeks: South Carolina, Furman, Clemson, Georgia, Georgia Tech, and rounding it out with Emory!  It is going to be a wonderful/crazy next few weeks.  I will post something unique or interesting about the town or university once when I am at each.

I am not looking forward to the long, lonesome drives.  Friends and family, be expecting some calls so I can pass the time a little easier on those long drives.  I miss everyone so much, but know that things are going great with everything here!  I’m excited to get back for a few days to see everyone!

Here is a quote that I really loved and I thought it fitted my emotion at the moment:

“Never worry about numbers.
Help one person at a time,
and always start with
the person nearest you.”
- Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa; What a gal huh?

Goodness, I cannot believe that in just one short month I will be traveling to my first chapter visit.  This next week, I will begin to plan where I will be traveling.  This is very exciting to me!  Really getting in depth and making a difference in people and their organizations will be so invigorating.  I just hope that I do not get too overwhelmed.  Tony Horton and P90X should keep me centered right?  Haha, I hope so.

D.C. for convention in around nine days; wow, really? D.C.?  It is going to be a great experience to see this huge production, hosting so many different people from around the United States.  D.C. alone will be worth all of the work we’ve put in for it. 

I really feel that I am changing and growing as a person and an adult.  I am around men who get me and that leaves me vulnerable to challenge the things in my life that I want to work on.  I have finished reading Steve Farber’s books, Greater Than Yourself, and The Radical Edge, great books, would suggest them in a heartbeat.  In The Radical Edge, he gives the illustration of using a WUP, Wake Up Pad.  This pad is used for you to jot down the things, ideals, people…anything around you.  Just write it down in the moment and reflect on it personally, then with a group of people.  I have been practicing at this since I read the book and I wanted to list some of the notes that I have taken:

• Always have intentional interactions; give everything within your life a purpose: body language, first impressions, listening, EVERYTHING!

• Make an emotional connection through the act of being vulnerable and having the fear of failure, this is where one will find true change in themselves and or the organization.
•  Be uncomfortable with your surroundings and the interactions and tell me at the end of the day if you didn’t learn something new about yourself, because I think you will always learn something from those uncomfortable moment.

• Be open to the experience; never discredit something for the face value of it.

• “No matter how smart you get, no matter how many times you travel the world, not matter how many great people you think you know, you can always learn more, you can always experience more, you can always connect more and love more.” Greater Than Yourself

These are a few of the things that really stood out to me.  I am starting the book, “How to win friends and influence people,” by Dale Carnegie.  From what I hear, this book has the potential to shape my mind in a great way.  I am super excited about that.  I am going to keep a pen handy and ready to take a note or two.  I never really knew how much I enjoyed reading until I wasn’t just reading textbooks.

It’s getting late and I think this week in work is going to rock my world a bit.  Last week before convention, so it should be interesting.  Take care and enjoy those little moments with the people you meet or are around day-to-day, they matter and you should take advantage of that opportunity.

Ps: I’ve been listening to David Gray lately….simply amazing, no other way to put it.

So today is officially my fifth “rebirthday.”  You might be wondering what? Rebirthday?  Well I look at it as when I was given the chance to start anew and fresh from what I knew of my old existence.  July 12, 2010 marks the fifth anniversary of me being rid of the dreadful cancer called, Ewing Sarcoma.  I cannot believe that it has been five years from the time I was in the darkest moments of my life.  Five years ago today, I stood up out of my wheel chair, leaning against my cane, to ring a simple, golden bell that was symbolic of beating cancer. 

I remember the first day walking into the Children’s Hospital in Oklahoma City.  Seeing the bell hanging on the wall with the Polaroid pictures of the children, survivors, taped to the windows of the nurses’ station, made me feel like I was starting a journey that would change the course of my life.  The vast majority of the survivors had the “chemo” look that one would associate; no hair, pale, colorless skin, drawn eyes.  At this time when I saw these kids, I thought wow; this is going to be my future.  I knew right then and there that I would join them with my own Polaroid on that wall no matter what I had to do to get there.

The next days, weeks, months seemed to crawl by.  A surgery to remove three spots from my lung as well as placing an infusaport was first on the agenda.  Chemo followed suit as soon as the med student pulled my chest tube from my right lung.  I cannot explain chemotherapy.  It instantly made me feel like something was not right about my system.  I did not feel nauseas like most patients feel, but I knew something wasn’t right.  It took two full months of treatment for me to start losing my hair, which the doctors found odd.  All-in-all, I basically did not have that big of a problem with chemo.  My treatment took a turn for the worse on my 18^th birthday where I was receiving chemo, but would start radiation.  Radiation would last eight straight weeks, five times a week, whereas chemo was only every two weeks with hospital stay’s of three and five days.  Within the first three weeks of radiation, I was completely out of energy.  It was a great success that I was able to get out of bed each day.  This would continue until I finished the treatment in December of 2004. 

Things were going good now that I was off of the dreadful radiation.  My energy was up until the end of January where I entered the emergency room with severe intestinal blockages.  These blockages were caused by the radiation, where it had basically turned my intestines into Swiss cheese on the right side of my body.  I preceded to have three intestinal surgeries and spend three and a half months in the hospital.  During this period, I went from 195 pound, athletic baseball pitcher, to 115 pound bag of bones that was barely strong enough to get out of bed and walk with my pump/pole.

Dwindling away to what seemed to be nothing physically was the hardest thing for me to comprehend.  More so, as those months went by and I realized the severity of the situation, my visitors started coming more frequent and with the look of seeing me for the last time.  The only thing I could rely on in this time was very strong, positive thoughts.  I wanted to comfort those around me with humor or talk to them in the manner of making them feel comfortable of my existence.  I honestly think that these positive thoughts and always looking to comfort everyone around me is what pulled me through this situation.  Well that and I had a bad ass cast around me; MOM, nurses, friends, family!  All were so great during this time of great trouble.

When I was released in May, the next year seemed to blow by with Monday, Wednesday, and Friday worth of physical therapy for ten months and having another surgery to repair what was left of my intestines. 

So here I am, five years later.  Oh the lessons I have learned through that experience.  I have been developing what I think my purpose is to have made it through my illness.  I have sat through countless funerals of children that I received treatment with and volunteered for and I always wonder why it was me that had to make it.  Why did I deserve to live and they didn’t? 

As I struggle with this, I always come back to the joy I feel when I help someone understand their potential and purpose for their present being.  To watch someone achieve something that they did not think they could have until us working together to pull that potential out, is something that will seem to never get old, nor why should it get old.  I think the premise of why I am on this earth is to help someone each day.  I feel like I do this by the relationships I build or the small interactions I have with random people within each day. I believe in investing in people, serving them to find the clarity of their potential, and showing them that they should use that potential to help another out is how I have been living since July 12, 2005.  I think I will continue this philosophy until my heart tells me to do otherwise.

There it is; what I believe to the purpose of my survival.  I think that is a portion of why I accepted my job in Oxford.  I feel that undergraduate students have the ability to critically think about their lives on more than one level.  What other time in one’s life where there could be so much thought and reflection where it would change the foundation of that person’s future?  My job allows me to connect with so many students and volunteers.  I am a firm believer that I will continue to learn about myself through the interactions of others and hopefully I can give them something in return for that.  Beta has given the opportunity to change the world of many, many men if I fully take responsibility for that challenge.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am accepting that challenge.  I just finished a great book that a mentor of mine wanted me to read.  It is Greater Than Yourself by Steve Farber.  Farber is a teacher of Extreme Leadership and currently has three tremendous books out; The Radical Leap, The Extreme Edge, and GTY or Greater Than Yourself.  Farber has an amazing ability to paint a picture with the words, but tie it in to his message of leadership.  I very much suggest that you pick up his books on Amazon and take notes as you read.  Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from GTY:

“No matter how smart you get, no matter how many times you travel the world, no matter how many great people you think you know, you can always learn more, you can always experience more, you can always connect and love more.”

“Use your life experiences to raise someone else’s up.”

So I must confess, my post last night was from two weeks ago and I wrote it in OneNote before I really realized I wanted to start a blog.  So hopefully this clears the air and no one gets too confused.

Work is going really well.  I am busy, busy, but seem to be getting more organized by the day.  I received my assignments for the General Convention today. I will be an assistant to Christian West with registration and also be in charge of providing touring information to the guests we have at convention.  This part of my assignment is really interesting for me since I will get to be really knowledgeable of what everything D.C. has to offer in case I would like to take a tour myself one day.  I guess I am going to be contacting a lot of the touring services and finding the best deals.  Should be fun right?

I am feeling like I could always be doing something for my work.  It seems like there is just not enough hours in a day to complete what I thought I could get finished up.  I always feel like I need to be connecting with someone new or making a positive impression upon someone that will be favorable so they can look at the General Fraternity in a different light than they did before they had talked to me.  It is crazy to me, but I know that I am surrounded by brilliant people that care about this organization just as much as I do.  It is refreshing to see this and gives me motivation to work as hard as they do.  It also gives me assurance that I will be learning a lot about my personal and professional self.  I really feel that I can challenge myself to think outside of the box even if it ends in a failure because those around me will pick me up from that.

I am missing my family and friends back home a lot.  It is crazy to see really what you have until it is not as convenient anymore.  Allison is coming for the weekend and I am excited for her to experience Oxford and all its glory.  More so, I am excited for her to meet the men I have been working and living with.  I think they are going to like her more than they like me.  She has a way with people that is unique in that she always makes people around her comfortable.  One thing I have always enjoyed while spending time with her.

Anyhow, I hope everyone is doing great and please let me know if you ever need anything from me.  Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions.

Until next time,

TJ

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

So it is the end of my first week in Oxford.  Where do I begin?  Mom and John hand delivered me Oxford on Sunday.  Andrew Willert, a consultant for the Northwest region, gave us a tour of the Administrative Office and I really think that mom and John were really impressed with everything they saw.  I do not think that they realized that I was joining such a big deal. 

I had to wake up early to get them to the airport in Indianapolis.  As I have come to find out, Oxford is in the middle of a lot of fun, interesting cities.  Two hours to Indy, two to Columbus, four to Cleveland and about thirty minutes to Cincinnati.  Leaving mom and John was definitely hard.  I know that they are proud of me, but I just want them to know that this job will help me transition into the professional world.

We had a retreat with the Chapter Operations staff in a state park just six miles north of our apartment.  It was a really good chance for all of the new guys to get to know everyone that was already here on staff.  It really is a great group of guys and one can see how deliberate the recruitment is for coming on staff.

Started training on Friday and will continue through this Friday when we get to facilitate the first session of the Wooden Institute.  This is a leadership development opportunity for undergraduates.  When I was a participant for the Institute, that was the turning point for me and my Beta career.  I knew after that experience that I wanted to make a difference in my chapter back in Norman.  I hope to deliver that experience to my small group and hopefully have someone one day tell me that I made a difference in their life with Beta. 

Friday I went to a Corey Smith concert in Indy with Michael McPhee.  He just got hired on to travel the South Central region.  It was his first concert while it was my fifth.  I had a hell of a time and the bar scene in Broad Ripple, section of Indy, is amazing.  I have never seen so many places just plum full of people enjoying their evening.  It was terrific.

Last night, Martin Cobb had everyone over for dinner.  He is the Foundation director.  The foundation is a part of the fraternity that is in charge of collecting and finding donations.  Martin’s house is awesome.  It was really nice to relax after a long week.  After that we went to a German bar named Steinkeller.  They had several German beers on tap that were served in these huge classes.  It was a great experience just sitting and talking with all of the older staff members. 

All in all, I am completely enjoying my experience so far in Oxford.  I am really missing my family, Allison and Berkley, but I know that I will see all soon.  Allison is coming up during the fourth of July weekend.  It is going to be a blast.  I think we are going to plan a river trip with the guys.  I think this will be a great way for her to get introduced to the guys and a good way for us to enjoy the scenery and weather.  I will keep this updated probably once a week during the summer and once I start traveling I will update it when I am in different locations.  I will take and post pictures of the apartment and work, then upload them with the site.  My new number is 513-593-6008 incase you ever need to call me.